I’ve been going back and forth for a while on whether to make this video, but I couldn’t really move on until I said it out loud. Lately I’ve started to feel like a failure with YouTube — not because I don’t love filming, but because I’ve tied so much of my confidence to performance, engagement, and the feeling of being connected with you. When I put my heart into a video I’m proud of and it “does badly,” it hits my insecurities hard, and I spiral into thinking my content isn’t meaningful or valid. In the middle of all that, I talk about perfectionism and how it’s been exhausting me: redoing clips over tiny details, overplanning videos down to the minute, and turning something I love into a chore. I try to loosen the grip a bit by vlogging more lightly, running errands, and sharing real life—selling a pair of running shoes that literally made my toenails fall off (love that for me), getting some Muji study bits, and giving a small apartment update. I also share my doubts around uni and the “normal path,” and why Japan gives me so much creative energy—while still reminding myself I can’t rely on a location to be my only inspiration. The takeaway is simple: I want to find peace again in creating, be less self-critical, and make videos for the joy of it.