Welcome back to Day 182 of my Journey of an Eorzean Lifetime, still doing the never-ending job of tying up the last bits of Stormblood patch 4.5… in my usual wibbly wobbly timy-wimey order. This episode starts exactly how you’d expect: me beefing with RNG at the Gold Saucer like a full-time gambler, trying to will good numbers into existence, and having the game punish me for daring to miss my “normal schedule.” Same stuff, different day. Then Hatching Tide 2026 rolls in and immediately tries to turn me into a gardener. We get sent into the Black Shroud to deal with “thick grasses” (not glasses—yeah, I said it) that are actually leafkin flytrap monsters that won’t stay dead. Enter Herbarin the alchemist (absolute herb boy), who’s rocking tinted specs because the leafkin basically flashbanged his eyeballs with venom. He whips up “Herbarin’s Bane,” I soak the scythe, and we jump into a seasonal instance that is way more satisfying than it has any right to be. The takeaway: the sprig-cleaning minigame is cracked, the egg currency grind is actually fun, and yes—I’m still chasing those glasses like my life depends on it. After that? I’m eyeing Seiryu Extreme blind, because snake boy is gonna kick my ass, but it’s gonna be mine.