So yeah — the April Fools wasn’t a joke. I actually bought a jet. What started as a dumb WAN Show meme turned into me realizing a jet-propelled aircraft can be shockingly “affordable,” then my uncle (who’s deep in aviation) did the due diligence and basically told me: don’t do this… but if you do, here are the two least-stupid ways. I ended up with a Dassault Falcon 900B, and while I can’t disclose the purchase price because NDA, I can tell you my favorite kind of math: “girl math.” Between three freshly refurbished engines on a service program (worth over a million each) and a completed 12-year inspection with contract guarantees, it’s the closest thing to a “$0 plane” you’ll ever see. In the video I walk through the quick specs (about 4,000 nautical miles range, ~4,500 ft runway needs), fuel realities, and why we’re being scrappy on logistics but absolutely not compromising on safety. We poke around the outside, landing gear, baggage/cargo compartments (including the first thing I broke), then head inside for the cockpit, seats, tables, and the brutally expensive reality of aviation Wi‑Fi. Also: yes, there’s gold-plated stuff, yes it has a medevac kit, and yes, the nickname is the Millennial Falcon.