After yet another year of “unforgivable controversies” and some extremely normal business decisions (like becoming a Reddit mod and buying a content house), I announce the next chapter of Linus Media Group: Linus Coin. It’s a totally-not-an-investment, Web 6.9 initial coin offering that I’ve been told I legally can’t say is guaranteed to double your money… but the pitch is simple: buy a token, wait some period of time, then redeem it for 2:1 store credit on LTTStore.com. I walk you through how our new parent company, Financial Optimization and Market Operations Foundry (FOMO Foundry), “synergized our efficiencies” with AI—streamlining payroll, replacing our writing department with ChatGPT (and YouTube’s Inspiration tab, apparently), and even turning questionable manufacturing leftovers into something “valuable.” The Linus Coin is literally made from melted-down faulty zinc ratchet housings, minted into 10,000 standard coins (2:1), 100 rare (4:1), and 10 ultra-rare (10:1), one per customer. Along the way, I explain challenge coin history, show you the FOMO diagram for how “everyone makes money,” and remind you this is April Fools energy through-and-through—plus a couple sponsor segues that are so smooth they should be illegal.