If you play Warhammer 40K, you’ve probably got a favourite flavour of freaky buff spaceman… and I’m sorry, but the Crayon Eaters might be the most ungodly one yet. In this video I take the infamous Space Marine 2 fan chapter—born from people abusing the game’s customisation—and I try to do the impossible: paint the world’s ugliest Space Marine chapter and somehow make it look good. Naturally, I don’t pick “any old Space Marine” either. I use the commemorative Lieutenant Titus mini, wrestle through the build (after months of Gundam, it aged me 20 years), and even magnetise the head options because I’m a massive control freak. For the scheme, I let a Twitch chat of 500 frantic Warhammer fans yell colours at me until we land on a full-on Skittles-in-a-wet-t-shirt-fight monstrosity. To keep myself sane, I paint it heavy metal style: basecoat, recess shade, then crisp edge highlights—one colour at a time. I also push focal points like Titus’s face, add Rogue Trader-style freehand details, and design a custom Crayon Eaters chapter symbol (a toothy jaw… but chomping a crayon). And somehow—annoyingly—it works. It’s hideous, but it’s also maybe the best Space Marine I’ve ever painted.