As a chronically online Warhammer fan, I woke up this week expecting everyone to be yelling about Space Marine DLC, Cath’s new minis, or Magnus the Red’s canonical voice… and instead the internet chose violence over a brand new Warhammer Underworlds warband: Kamandora’s Blades. People have been going in on the “plain” armour, the super clean Heavy Metal paint job, and—most of all—those freaky exposed teeth (plus about a million British dentistry jokes). So I did what I always do: I tried to convince you, and also myself, that maybe these minis aren’t beyond saving. Because the models aren’t out yet, I didn’t paint them for real—I mocked up my own paint scheme in Photoshop like I’d just cracked open the box at home. The core fix was simple: make them feel like bloodthirsty Khorne cultists instead of pristine showroom mannequins. I cooled and dirtied the skin with sickly purples/greens, pushed contrast around the mouths, added gore and grime, and slapped on war paint and freehand to give them character (also: normalize painting eyebrows). The big takeaway is that a lot of the time a miniature is what you make of it—and a “controversial” sculpt can look way better with a nastier, more coherent vision.