Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to another episode of me making questionable financial decisions. In this one, Angus and I drag home what $900 apparently buys in 2024: a black-and-gold, sheriff-stickered Honda Gold Wing with a sidecar, a CB radio, and enough extra plastic and accessories to qualify as a small house. We don’t have keys, the carbs are seized, the air suspension is leaking (because of course it is), and everything on this bike is buried under three other things that have to come off first. Once we finally start digging, the “it’s a Honda, it’ll run” optimism gets absolutely obliterated. I pull plugs and find wet cylinders, then shove a borescope in and discover literal water sitting in the holes and corrosion that looks like the moon. At that point it’s pretty clear this thing had to be a flood bike. We pivot to Plan B and go hunting in Phoenix’s yard for another Gold Wing to potentially donate parts—or a whole engine—because I don’t have “rebuild a Gold Wing motor this week” time. And then it gets worse: water in another motor, no spark, more teardown than any sane person wants, mud in the intake runners, peanuts in the carbs, and finally a cracked case with a giant hole where oil should be staying inside. So yeah—this one turns into a master class in how a “quick video” becomes violently different.