In this episode of CGI (Country Girls Investigate), I brought Audrey along and had Jen “assist” (and yes, we did this outside on purpose) for a wild Lester’s Fixins soda taste test. We’ve done weird drinks before—pie and cake flavors while camping—but this time I went all-in on the “these flavors should NOT exist” lineup. We tried stuff like peanut butter & jelly, buffalo wings (why is it spicy?), bacon (which tasted like burnt dirt), ranch dressing, pickle soda, and a pumpkin pie one that honestly wasn’t the worst. To make it more interesting, we turned it into a guessing game, and let’s just say… most of these don’t taste like what the label claims. The PB&J was straight-up nasty, and that wings soda left a burning sensation in my throat. The surprise twist was the last two “off brand” sodas—dirt and grass. Dirt was rough, but the grass one ended up being my favorite because it tasted like a lemon-lime / Golden Delicious apple vibe and actually helped get the nasty flavors out of my mouth. If you’re going to try any of these, I’m suggesting grass first… and maybe pickle second.