Howdy race fans—Austin is coming up, and apparently six teams decided it was Special Livery O’Clock. So naturally, my time has come once again as a professional F1 design critic. In this video I rank and review every Austin/USGP special livery (and a few race suits), and yes: I’m also handing out bonus points for committing to the Texas bit. Cowboy hats? Extra point, baby. I start with Haas, who stick to their annual “stars and stripes and call it a day” tradition—except this year it’s somehow worse, with barely any blue unless you’re zooming in like it’s an easter egg. Alpine technically counts as a special livery (yellow sponsor highlights… that’s it), but they scrape by thanks to cowboy hat photos. Williams go full throwback with a 2002-inspired look, which I love in theory, even if it’s a bit weird on a modern curvy car (they kind of look like orcas, and I mean that as a compliment). VCarb are still cooking—just not Michelin-star cooking this time—with a tortoise-shell/Cash App collab that some people are calling the Doritos livery (Cool Ranch = peak America, checkmate). Aston’s equation-themed tribute is surprisingly heartwarming, even if it’s not very Texas. And then there’s McLaren… chrome-adjacent again, and somehow it’s also a tribute to an AI product. I was upset. Adios.