I downloaded Tinder for a whole week and let random matches pick what my boyfriend Calvin eats for a day… and yes, it was as chaotic as it sounds. For breakfast, one guy hit me with “signature French toast,” which is hilarious because I’ve literally never made French toast in my life. So I’m out here stressed, eyeballing cinnamon, pumping vanilla, using chopsticks like the Asian in me demands, and praying the “perfect French toast recipe” doesn’t take us out. Spoiler: it looked legit… but one piece was a little raw and Calvin was like “no God please no.” For lunch, Tinder chose McDonald’s: a Big Mac combo and a hot fudge sundae—except I had an epic fail and forgot the sundae. I also wasn’t about to self-sabotage, so I upsized the fries because I already knew I was stealing some. Dinner was “whatever you like” which is a null pick, but then Indian food came up, so I ordered SkipTheDishes: chicken tikka masala, butter chicken, samosas, naan (let’s get this bread), and gulab jamun. Calvin rated it brutally, called the dessert a “diabetes ball,” and said it tasted like laundry… so yeah, Tinder men did their best and I did my worst.