Welcome, smash fans: this episode is the “final battle” energy for Super Smash Tournament 6, Ep 9 — Link (my SST3 champ) versus Bowser (the SST6 finalist who refuses to die). I do a quick recap of how they got here: Link scraping past Inkling, then getting through Dark Samus with a little Solid Snake “kept you waiting” assist; Bowser bulldozing Mario in quarters and breaking Castlevania hearts by taking out Simon Belmont in semis. Then we get the best part: everybody putting their money where their mouth is, arguing over who’s winning, and immediately regretting it. The match itself is messy in the way I like: shielding, scrambles, a Pikachu showing up to cause problems, and Bowser eventually pinning Link down and taking the W. Half the room is celebrating “hell yeah Bowser,” the other half is calling him a cheater and spiraling in real time. And because this is my dumpass ride, it doesn’t end clean — Dr. Mario shows up for a bonus grudge fight, fireworks go off, someone’s jaw almost gets broken, and we still end with the classic “I didn’t tap” argument. Nobody ever wins in a fight… but we sure have a lot of fun.