In “Ty Guy: The Jolly Old Terminator,” I play Ty — a dude absolutely locked in on “protecting” the Milwaukee area during the holidays… by trying to trap Santa Claus. He’s out there directing parking like it’s a tactical operation, picking up literal poop like it’s part of the job, and acting like Christmas spirit is a full-time career. Then he hits you with the origin story: when he was 15, Santa “killed” his dad by pushing him off the roof and dressing him up in his own clothes. So naturally, he starts S.T.D.S. (Santa Trap Defense Systems) because if you can defend your house from burglars, why not defend it from the guy who shows up once a year guaranteed? I walk through Ty’s anti-Santa product lineup: reindeer repellent (yes, it’s pee), poison cookies with rat poison, rotten milk, and the “stocking cruncher” (a mousetrap in a stocking). The whole thing spirals when people either don’t care, call him out, or hit him with the devastating truth: Santa isn’t real. That’s where the sketch flips from unhinged pest-control energy into a weirdly sincere holiday moment about grief, forgiveness, and figuring out what Christmas is actually “about” when your whole personality was built around hating a fake guy.