Episode 5 on the HCIM and I’m still clinging to that “I will NOT die” energy… even though the servers were dodgy enough that I genuinely thought a pyramid zombie might be the one to send me to Lumbridge. The plan was simple: get the requirements lined up for Barrows gloves—Legends’ Quest, Desert Treasure, the annoying little bits like crafting boosts and spice stews—then just brute-force my way through the quest list like a man possessed. Of course, because it’s Ironman, I start doing one thing and suddenly I’m rat catching for eight rats, getting flamed by NPCs calling me “dishonorable,” and questioning if the quest helper has ever played the game. Ratcatchers nearly broke me (nobody does that for funsies, bro), but Legends’ Quest and Desert Treasure are the good kind of horrible—long, stressful, and actually worth it. I scrape together magic logs using Alfie’s “you owe me tree” tech (1 in 10 chance, two hours of pain), knock out Desert Treasure for 60 Magic and ancients access, and then it’s straight into Recipe for Disaster to finish the job. By Day 16, I finally complete RFD and unlock Barrows gloves—absolute champion moment. Only problem? I’m too poor to buy them, so I shamelessly rob my own kingdom because rent’s due in two hours and my people are ready to kick me out. Hardcore life, mate.