Time to childproof the kitchen and stairs, because in this video I sprint through the nasty, messy, occasionally “please-don’t-demonetize-me” history of the Emperor’s Children. I start where I usually do: the old stuff. Rogue Trader doesn’t actually give you a neat Chaos breakdown, so we jump to 1988’s Realm of Chaos: Slaves to Darkness—five pages of purple-and-gold depravity, medics who’ll give you a “pleasurable end,” and even an early Fabius Bile quote… all before primarchs were really a thing and Horus was basically just a possessed general with a promotion. Then everything goes off the rails, because to explain the Emperor’s Children you have to explain the Noise Marines—and that means Games Workshop’s baffling late-80s/early-90s flirtation with Warhammer Records. Flexi-discs, Sabbat, Bolt Thrower, the Goff Rockers, and a Noise Marine miniature tied to a very camp track from D-Rok… followed by the grim reality of tabloid Britain and the inevitable corporate pivot when Tom Kirby took over and GW prepared for the stock market. From there I chart Slaanesh’s weird stop-start presence in 40K: Epic-scale Fulgrim, the drought of proper releases, the oddities like Doomrider, the Horus Heresy renaissance, and finally the “impossible” happening in 2025—Fulgrim in the right scale, the right material, the right universe, plus a proper wave of kits and plastic Noise Marines at long last.