Olden Demon 2023 is over, which means it’s time for the worst part of the hobby: me judging your work and trying not to start a small civil war in the comments. This year was properly unhinged—over 300 entries—and the standard has climbed so high since the pandemic that models I’d have called “finalist quality” in previous years ended up merely commended. I pick and choose what I can show (Instagram being Instagram), run through a pile of glorious Oldhammer oddities, and then get down to the grim business of ranking the top entries while reminding everyone that painting competitions are subjective… right up until I tell you I’ll fight anyone who disputes my first place pick. I hand out a big stack of commended shout-outs, then go into the finalists: honorary 6th (Hendarion’s converted, rare Eldar Farseer), and the top five—each getting a goblin green marker and an Olden Demon winners card (gold metallic, as the Dark Gods intended). Fifth is Darren Latham’s homage Striking Scorpion, fourth is Goblin Green 2021’s absurdly detailed Wolf Scout Sergeant, third is Druchii Gang’s classic Farseer with mad lighting and freehand, second is Nicklas Pihlström’s horrifyingly “real” Ork, and first is Avelorn Miniatures’ War Dancer from Warhammer Quest—an NMM masterclass with reflected colours, transparency tricks, and enough tiny decisions to make my tears turn to vinegar.