In this video, I dig into The Bonjour Effect (after 17 years living in France) to talk about the hidden “rules” of French conversation—especially the one that drives a lot of Americans crazy: why French people can seem to always start with “no.” I share what the book gets right, where I’m not totally convinced, and how these conversation habits show up in real life when you’re at the bakery, dealing with administration, or just trying to make friends. And because I’m an American married to a French person, I also bring in my husband’s very French perspective on what’s actually going on underneath the words. I also talk about the French tendency to correct people (yes, even adults) and how that connects to the culture of debate, precision, and “doing it properly.” If you’re planning a move to France—or you’re already here and you keep walking away from interactions thinking, “Why was that so… intense?”—this is meant to help you decode it and take it less personally. My goal is for you to adapt without losing yourself: learn the social codes, use them to your advantage, and feel more confident navigating everyday life in France.