In this video, I’m talking about something that trips up almost every foreigner in France: you can follow the rules, you can even speak decent French, and yet you still feel like you’re doing something “off.” That’s usually not a language problem—it’s a cultural code problem. I’m revisiting Polly Platt’s French or Foe? (yes, it’s from 1994 and yes, parts of it are a very specific Parisian-elite time capsule), but underneath the dated anecdotes are “hidden codes” that are still surprisingly true. I’ve lived in France since 2008 (I’m in Dijon), and I’m breaking down what Platt absolutely nailed, what has evolved, and how to use these codes in everyday life—at the bakery, in admin situations, with neighbors, and in social settings—so you stop feeling awkward and start feeling competent. My goal here is practical: once you understand the unspoken expectations, you can interpret reactions correctly, communicate more smoothly, and feel more at home. If you’re planning a move to France, this is the kind of real-life detail that saves you months (or years) of second-guessing, because it helps you understand what’s happening beneath the words.