I put so much pressure on myself and I still don't know why. | Weekly Yap 4/52

I've cleared my calendar, walked away from my last business, said no to brand deals. I removed everything I thought was the problem. And I still feel overwhelmed. This is when I realized it really has nothing to do with anything external, it's all a war within my mind. I'm turning 32 this year and want to start a family with Leon, but I'm terrified of losing myself even more when I become a mom. I ask myself "If I haven't figured out my identity by now, how will I ever find it if I have a kid?" There's so much pressure and rush to figure out who I am before that happens, among so many other things that I am trying to balance (career, finances, health, friends, family, self care..) I almost didn't post this video because everything I share still feels so raw and maybe a bit "too" vulnerable, but after watching it back I realize it's an important experience to share of how as women, we often feel the weight of the world on our shoulders. If you're someone who also puts impossible pressure on yourself, I shared this for you. 🧋Check out my Superfood Milk Tea business: https://www.instagram.com/getsuperboba/ ♡ What's in this video: 0:00 - Fear of Being Judged for the Yaps 4:17 - Are You Losing Respect for Me? 8:42 - Do I Have ADHD or am I just a Woman? 13:18 - Seeking God and Guidance 19:39 - Integration vs Balance 21:41 - Will I Lose My Identity Even More Once I Become a Mom? 24:52 - My HRV Score & Nervous System 29:19 - Being Judged Online & Fear of Perception 31:27 - Relationships, Identity, and Purpose 33:45 - Fear of Building Authentic Relationships 37:15 - Masking and Growing up Asian 39:29 - Thanks for Listening ♡ My YouTube Equipment: ♡ MAIN YOUTUBE SETUP https://kit.co/vanessalau.co/my-curre... Phone Tripod ➡︎ https://geni.us/u6rH5 Phone Suction ➡︎ https://geni.us/Z5y4jI5 Camera (Sony) ➡︎ https://geni.us/XMLEO Camera Lens (Ultra Wide) ➡︎ https://geni.us/yoUwyf Microphone (DJI) ➡︎ https://geni.us/Emzep Microphone (Sony) ➡︎ https://geni.us/5HWMJ Tripod (Regular) ➡︎ https://geni.us/STzK Tripod (Vlog) ➡︎ https://geni.us/RqwZy SD Card ➡︎ https://geni.us/1AQ2Wlb Lighting ➡︎ https://geni.us/gWkHG Lantern Softbox ➡︎ https://geni.us/MAAmAz Lighting Stand ➡︎ https://geni.us/APrj Check out ALL my equipment here: https://kit.co/vanessalau.co ♡ ALL VLOGGING EQUIPMENT: https://kit.co/vanessalau.co/vlogging-gear Vlogging Camera: https://geni.us/mebO0 Vlogging Camera Cage: https://geni.us/wAYsAj Vlogging Camera Stand: https://geni.us/sj1M1d Magic Arm / Small Rig: https://geni.us/3rsfd6K Sticky Adhesive: https://geni.us/KIlxO9z Wrist Strap: https://geni.us/RuafNa Vlogging Glasses: https://geni.us/Ap82F Check out ALL my equipment here: https://kit.co/vanessalau.co ♡ Products: 📷 Shop all my YouTube gear: https://kit.co/vanessalau.co 🤳 Shop all my vlog gear: https://kit.co/vanessalau.co/vlogging-gear 👚 Shop all my clothes & lifestyle: https://www.shopltk.com/explore/vanessalau ♡ YouTube Optimization Tools I Use: https://www.tubebuddy.com/vanessalauco Use “vanessasbuddy” to get 20% off all licenses ♡ My favourite editing tool: https://get.descript.com/ep1auu5yjxh4 ♡ My favourite DM automation tool: Manychat (use this link for 30% off your first 3 months!): https://manychat.partnerlinks.io/c7ie3goy7ntn ♡ Stay Connected: ♥️ Subscribe to my channel for more: https://www.youtube.com/vanessalau?sub_confirmation=1 💛 Follow me on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/vanessalau.co/ 🧋Check out my Superfood Milk Tea business: https://www.instagram.com/getsuperboba/ 💌 For business inquiries: partnerships@vanessalau.co