Why do people set the wrong goals?

Stop chasing someone else’s version of success and start building a life that actually feels good. Are you setting goals because you actually want them, or because you’ve been conditioned to think you "should"? Many people follow a path laid out by societal expectations or social media trends, only to realize it doesn't lead to genuine fulfillment. In this video, we explore how to break free from external influences and align your ambitions with your true values: Conditioning and External Influence: From an early age, people are conditioned to set specific goals based on societal expectations, family suggestions, and external systems. Adulthood brings further influence from social media, advertising, and the observation of others' success paths, which can lead people to adopt "shoulds"—goals they feel they ought to pursue rather than ones they truly want. The brain’s preference for certainty often causes individuals to gravitate toward simplistic, externalized goals, such as specific income targets, without evaluating the context behind those numbers. Developing Personal Clarity: The first step to setting better goals is identifying the origin of your current ambitions and questioning whether they stem from internal desires or external pressure. Coaching frameworks like the "be-do-have" exercise can help individuals clarify their values and define what is truly important to them. Setting effective goals requires distinguishing between survival-based needs and personal desires, ensuring that decisions are driven by what genuinely creates happiness, meaning, and purpose. Understanding Drivers and Evolving: It is crucial to understand the "why" beneath a goal; for example, the reality of a financial target like a "10k month" varies significantly based on overheads, team structure, and personal long-term strategy. Success is not a static concept, and goals should not be set in stone. As individuals evolve and learn more about themselves, they should feel empowered to change their definitions of success and adjust their goals accordingly. Key Topics: 00:00 - Early Conditioning: we are conditioned from childhood to think about future goals before we have a true concept of the future. 00:38 - Influence of Society and Systems: Discussion on how our perception of what is possible is often limited by what society, our context, and various systems tell us our goals should be. 00:54 - Adulthood and Social Media: How social media and advertising continue this conditioning in adulthood, often leading us to follow paths chosen by others, such as family members. 01:47 - External Influences on Professional Goals 02:46 - Identifying the Origin of Goals: The importance of questioning the "shoulds" in your goals to identify whose voice they actually represent. 03:05 - Personal Goal Setting and "Be-Do-Have": Introduction to the "be-do-have" exercise as a way to find clarity on what is personally important by identifying who you want to be, what you want to do, and what you want to have. 04:06 - Needs vs. Conditioned Beliefs: Distinguishing between actual survival needs and perceived needs, such as a certain house or car, that may be driven by conditioning rather than personal happiness. 04:31 - Understanding Your Drivers: A call to identify the underlying reasons, motivations, and purpose behind your decisions rather than following external "shoulds". 05:11 - Contextualizing Financial Goals: Using the example of "10k months" to show how the same financial goal can mean very different things depending on business overhead and long-term strategy. 06:08 - Allowing Goals to Evolve: Stop following the crowd and start recognizing what you truly want. Find out more here: https://ruthkudzi.com/ Connect with Ruth: YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@RuthKudzi Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/Ruthkudzi2/ Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/ruthkudzi/ LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/ruthkudzi/ Podcast: https://podfollow.com/the-coaching-hub-podcast About Optimus Coach Academy: Optimus offers best in class coaching training for individuals and corporates. If you want to know more about what we offer: https://optimuscoachacademy.com/coach-training We also offer business support as standard at Optimus, find out more here: https://www.optimuscoachacademy.com/ Connect with Optimus Coach Academy: Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/Optimuscoachacademy Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/optimuscoachacademy/ Linkedin: https://www.linkedin.com/company/optimuscoachacademy"