Why you shut down when someone gets too close

Have you ever noticed that when things start to get emotionally close, something in you pulls back? In this video, we explore the common experience of "fear of intimacy" and how it manifests in relationships. We'll discuss how this can lead to overthinking, withdrawal, and even self sabotage, offering practical relationship advice for navigating these challenges. Understanding these patterns is a crucial step towards personal growth and fostering deeper emotional intimacy, even when anxiety tries to pull you away. 0:00 Intro: Why closeness makes you pull away 0:47 Reframing fear of intimacy as protection 1:40 Nervous system lessons from the past 3:00 The 5 things your fear is really guarding against 3:00 Abandonment fears (e.g., BPD traits) 3:42 Losing yourself in the relationship 4:06 Fear of being "too much" 4:42 Carrying others' emotions as your fault 6:00 Vulnerability leading to rejection 6:47 Outdated protection: Old data in a new world 8:08 Hidden costs—loneliness despite safety 10:18 How to start healing: Safety over force 10:18 Journal prompts to explore your fears 12:53 Small steps & nervous system soothing 14:47 Takeaways: Compassion for your protector More videos you may like: Why you run from relationships: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AljN602r05A 5 ways to overcome your fear of intimacy: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5wAMqf6rilc You’ll learn how fear of intimacy shows up, why it’s so common, and how understanding this pattern can support real personal growth and emotional intimacy. If you struggle with commitment, closeness, or letting someone truly see you, this video offers compassionate, practical relationship advice to help you move toward healthier, more secure connections. My books: Why Do I Keep Doing This? https://geni.us/XoyLSQ Traumatized https://geni.us/Bfak0j Are u ok? https://geni.us/sva4iUY Therapy: While I don't offer online therapy, you can be connected with a licensed therapist through my sponsor BetterHelp: https://betterhelp.com/kati (Get 10% OFF your first month) Partnerships: Contact Linnea Toney at linnea@underscoretalent.com Disclaimer: The information provided in this video is for educational and informational purposes only and is not intended as medical or mental health advice. It should not be used to diagnose or treat any health problem or disease. Always consult with a qualified healthcare professional for diagnosis and treatment. Viewing this content does not establish a therapist-client relationship.