In this episode, I sit down with podcaster Daniélle Hill for one of those “we met online, no big deal” conversations that immediately turns into: wow, we have something horrible in common—let’s unfold this trauma publicly. Daniélle shares the story of losing her mom, Darlene, unexpectedly to a pulmonary embolism the day after Christmas, when Daniélle was 18 and a freshman in college. We talk about how surreal it is to go from a joyful holiday to CPR in the bathroom, the hospital, and then a funeral on New Year’s Eve—like grief bookended by the calendar. We get into what the months after loss can actually look like: autopilot, “keep on keeping on,” surrounding yourself with friends because your family system is shattered, and realizing later you weren’t really present—you were just functioning. Daniélle and I talk about the weird pressure people feel to not “say the wrong thing,” and why I’d rather someone say something small than say nothing at all. We also share practical ways to survive the holidays: protect your energy, don’t stack extra stress, ask people to come with you on a walk or a drive, move your body, get outside, and keep (or reinvent) rituals that honor your person—like Daniélle’s luminaries tradition that turns memory into light.