The #1 Relationship Researchers in the World: 50 Years of Marriage & Love Advice in One Conversation

Today’s episode is one of the most eye-opening conversations about marriage, love, and relationships you will ever hear. Whether you're married, dating, single, divorced, or in a long term relationship, get ready for the gift of the Gottmans. Dr. John and Dr. Julie Schwartz Gottman are the world’s leading relationship researchers. For over 50 years, they have studied thousands of couples, published hundreds of research papers, written 52 books, and changed the way the world understands love. And what they are sharing today is simple but life-changing: It’s not whether you have conflict that determines if your relationship lasts. It’s how you handle it. Today you are going to learn: -How the first 3 minutes of a fight can predict divorce -The 4 most common behaviors in every relationship that drive people apart -3 simple questions for your next date night that create real connection -The #1 predictor that a marriage will last (it’s not chemistry or sex) -One 10-minute Sunday habit that makes you both feel like you’re on the same team -“Turning away” vs. “turning against” - the tiny moments that make your partner feel loved… or alone If you’re feeling like you and your partner have become roommates who barely see each other, you’re not alone. Nobody taught you how to do this. And even if you had great role models, marriage comes with challenges no one can fully prepare you for. So let this episode be your wake-up call – and the way back to each other. For more resources related to today’s episode, click here for the podcast episode page: https://www.melrobbins.com/episode/episode-405/ Follow The Mel Robbins Podcast on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/themelrobbinspodcast I’m just your friend. I am not a licensed therapist, and this podcast is NOT intended as a substitute for the advice of a physician, professional coach, psychotherapist, or other qualified professional. Got it? Good. I’ll see you in the next episode. In this episode: 00:00 Introduction 04:20 How to Stop Fighting With Your Partner 09:47 Relationship Advice Backed by 50 Years of Research 15:22 What Healthy Couples Do Differently During Arguments 23:33 The Right Way to Communicate During a Fight 28:28 How to Build Emotional Intimacy With Your Partner 36:50 The 4 Toxic Relationship Habits That Predict Divorce 40:45 What Emotional Flooding Is and Why It Takes Over 49:13 How to Deal With A Partner Belittling You In A Fight 58:53 What To Do If Your Partner Always Gets Defensive During Fights 1:03:51 How to Talk About Losing Physical Attraction 1:05:59 Why Stonewalling Is So Damaging in Relationships 1:15:10 The #1 Predictor of A Healthy Relationship — Follow Mel: Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/melrobbins/ TikTok: http://tiktok.com/@melrobbins Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/melrobbins LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/melrobbins Website: http://melrobbins.com​ — Sign up for Mel’s newsletter: https://melrob.co/sign-up-newsletter A note from Mel to you, twice a week, sharing simple, practical ways to build the life you want. — Subscribe to Mel’s channel here: https://www.youtube.com/melrobbins​?sub_confirmation=1 — Listen to The Mel Robbins Podcast 🎧 New episodes drop every Monday & Thursday! https://melrob.co/spotify https://melrob.co/applepodcasts https://melrob.co/amazonmusic — Looking for Mel’s books on Amazon? Find them here: The Let Them Theory: https://amzn.to/3IQ21Oe The Let Them Theory Audiobook: https://amzn.to/413SObp The High 5 Habit: https://amzn.to/3fMvfPQ The 5 Second Rule: https://amzn.to/4l54fah