Jennifer B. Wallace | Mattering: The Secret to a Life of Deep Connection and Purpose | Graham School

Jennifer Wallace describes the need to matter as second only to food and shelter in driving human behavior, and warns that AI could leave it unmet on a scale we have never seen before. In conversation with Graham School dean Seth Green, Wallace, author of Mattering: The Secret to a Life of Deep Connection and Purpose, defines mattering as the sense that we are valued by others and that we add value back. She breaks it into a framework she calls the mattering core, using the acronym SAID: feeling significant, appreciated, invested in, and depended on. She describes what happens when the need goes unmet, from withdrawal and substance use to anger, and points to research on suicidal men who describe themselves as useless and worthless. The discussion connects this to today's pressures, including achievement culture, the role of artificial intelligence and automation in disrupting work, and the questions these raise about universal basic income and what gives life purpose. Wallace and Green also turn to midlife transitions such as retirement, empty nest, and grief, and why a sense of mattering often takes a hit when familiar roles fall away. The second half looks at how workplaces, schools, and communities can build cultures of mattering, a theme of Wallace's earlier book Never Enough. She shares the story of a fire chief who began tracking the outcomes of rescues so firefighters could see their impact, and a factory that placed story cards at workstations. She offers concrete habits, including short notes that connect people to their impact and a nightly reflection on how you added value and felt valued. The conversation draws on Bob Waldinger's Harvard Adult Development Study and a Mayo Clinic study of physician mothers to show how close relationships protect health and resilience, and Wallace describes accepting help as an act of generosity. The final segment turns to caregivers, including those supporting someone with dementia, and to purpose: finding genuine needs and meeting them with your time, talent, or treasure. Chapters 0:00 Welcome to the Graham School and introduction of Jennifer Wallace 2:53 What sparked the research for Mattering 6:55 A core psychological need 10:51 The mattering core explained 13:59 Cultural differences and self-attunement 18:51 Navigating midlife transitions 23:24 The science of acting social 26:30 Achievement, capitalism, and worth 33:13 The long arm of the job 35:10 Firefighters and connecting to impact 40:31 Protecting yourself in toxic jobs 44:43 Relationships and physical health 46:38 Caregiving and mattering too much 52:02 Three Ts for finding purpose About the speaker: Jennifer Breheny Wallace is an award-winning journalist and author of the instant New York Times bestselling books Never Enough: When Achievement Culture Becomes Toxic – and What We Can Do About It and Mattering: The Secret to a Life of Deep Connection and Purpose. Wallace worked as a producer at CBS “60 Minutes," where she was part of the team that won The Robert F. Kennedy Awards for Excellence in Journalism. She is a contributor to The Wall Street Journal, The Washington Post, and frequently appears on national television programs to discuss her work. About Graham: The Graham School is a one-of-a-kind intellectual community that brings the best of the University of Chicago to lifelong learners who are seeking discovery and discernment. Through an array of distinctive programs and courses in the Great Books, the liberal arts, and advanced leadership, we welcome learners who seek to deepen their understanding of the world and lead examined lives of purpose. Learn more at https://graham.uchicago.edu