Why Am I Being Filmed? A Black Family’s Experience in Asia

A woman askes why she feels like some Filipinos treat here differently. I'm a Black American woman currently on an extended stay in the Philippines with my children. We've lived in multiple countries—Africa, Latin America, Asia—and I've never quite experienced anything like what I've encountered here. To be clear: many people have been warm, helpful, and genuinely kind to us. I want to acknowledge that first. But at the same time, almost every single day we experience something that feels… off. Sometimes subtle, sometimes not. There’s a man at a restaurant in the mall who creeped up behind my daughter while she was sitting and reading at a fast food spot. I happened to glance up just as he was about to touch her hair. I locked eyes with him and told him directly not to touch her. It was unsettling. My daughter is nine. It stayed with me. At the pool, we always have to re-verify that we live in the building—even though we’re the only Black family here and have been here for weeks. The staff recognize us. I’ve seen other foreign families or solo travelers enter without a second glance, but my children are now asking, “Mommy, why do they always stop us?” One day, after swimming, we tried to re-enter the condo through the back door like everyone else. The guard refused to let us in because the kids were wet. I asked, “But if it starts raining, are we supposed to wait outside?” He looked me dead in the eye and said, “Yes,” and closed the door. Isn't everyone wet after swimming??? In stores, sometimes I’ll ask a question and just be ignored completely, like I’m invisible. Again—not everyone. Some workers are incredibly kind and helpful. But it’s a hit-or-miss pattern that adds up. We’ve also noticed people recording me. My kids have started pointing it out too: “Mommy, they’re filming you.” If I could count how many times I've caught people discreetly aiming their cameras at us… So I wanted to ask the group this: Have any of you noticed a difference in how Black women—especially those traveling with children—are treated here compared to solo male travelers or white families? I’m not trying to generalize or make accusations. I’m genuinely asking. I’ve lived abroad long enough to know when something is cultural curiosity… and when it crosses into something else. The pattern here feels heavy. And I don’t always have the language to explain it to my kids. Again, this isn’t about everyone. There are incredibly warm people here—and many of them are workers who have shown us true hospitality. But it’s not abnormal either. It’s daily. And when you’re the only Black family in a space, it hits different. I'm open to hearing insights from folks who’ve been here longer—especially those raising kids or navigating visibility in a way that doesn't feel safe or affirming.